That Feeling When One of You “Isn’t a Photo Person”…
You know that moment when you half-joke, “Okay, but can you Photoshop my partner in?” I hear it more often than you’d think. Maybe you adore photos and can’t wait to show the world how much you love each other…but your partner just doesn’t love being in front of the camera. They are convinced that they can’t take a good photo, and past experiences with stuffy or critical photographers left them dreading the idea.
Here’s the good news: you don’t have to be “photo people” to get stunning, authentic engagement photos that you love. You just need someone who cares more about your story than a stuffy pose, and who knows how to lead with personality over performance.
At Erin Vestal Photography, I believe the best engagement sessions feel like memories in the making: genuine, joy-filled, maybe a little silly, and definitely true to you.
You Can Drop the Performance. Here’s Why That Matters.
I’ve worked with so many couples (and about half of their reluctant partners) who start off a bit cautious. And that makes sense, especially if previous photo sessions felt awkward, overly posed, or full of “what do we do with our hands?” energy.
But awkward doesn’t have to be the starting point. Or the ending one.
Sometimes, a partner tells me they’re just not into taking photos. My response? “That’s okay. Let’s plan something you would enjoy instead.”
Think about a session like an intentional date. Whether that’s grabbing a drink at your favorite local bar, strolling the beach where you walk your dog, or recreating your love story with a playlist you made together playing from the speaker – this is your time to relax together while I document what naturally unfolds.
True connection isn’t something you can fake. But when it’s there, even quiet or reserved people light up. And that’s the moment I’m always waiting to see.
Now let’s talk about the practical stuff:
Tips for Making Engagement Photos Fun, Not Forced
1. Plan an Experience, Not a Photo Shoot
Stop thinking “I hope I look good” and start thinking “What would we actually enjoy doing together?”
- Go rock climbing, head to your favorite coffee shop, or explore a place that’s part of your story.
- One of my favorite couples got permission to use their wedding venue grounds for their engagement session because they loved the location so much.
- Think of it like your ideal date. Then let’s shape the session around that.
When you’re doing something familiar and enjoyable, your guard naturally drops… and suddenly, there’s connection, movement, and real laughter. That’s where the magic lives.
2. Bring Music You Love
Even better? Bring a playlist.
Playing music you both connect with has this amazing ability to shift the energy. Whether it’s acoustic Taylor Swift or epic Star Wars scoring (yes, I’ve had a couple lightsaber-duel to the soundtrack and I stand by how brilliant it was), the songs you love can guide something playful, meaningful, or just perfectly you.
Tip: Add some songs you might dance to, and some that feel like “a background to our love story” music. I’ll cue them up during quieter moments in your session to help you sink in and reconnect.
3. Tell Me the Little Things That Make You, You
Do you two always walk holding pinkies? Let’s make sure that moment becomes part of your photos.
There’s no “right” way to pose – and honestly, I guide sessions with prompts, movement, and questions rather than stiff instructions. But even more important than any pose is how you feel doing it. So I always like to ask…
- What makes you both laugh together?
- Are you more calm and cozy or goofy and competitive?
- Is physical connection big for you, or more subtle?
When I know these things ahead of time, I can bake them into our session… not break them with awkward prompts that aren’t you.
4. Focus on Connection, Not the Camera
We get awkward when we forget why we’re doing any of this in the first place.
So instead of worrying about what your arms are doing, think about the person you’re holding. Laugh at an inside joke. Talk about how you met. Tell me the story of your first vacation.
You’d be amazed how leaning into each other takes the pressure off. Because honestly, the camera isn’t the point – you are.
5. Trust the Process (and the Photographer)
This might sound simple, but it’s everything.
If you’ve hired someone who knows how to hold space and look for real moments, you don’t have to perform. Just having someone in your corner who adjusts for your personality, meets your energy, and can gently guide you without pressure? That makes all the difference.
As someone who’s married to a man who doesn’t love being photographed, I live this both professionally and personally. And I know how life-giving it is when your photographer gets what you need… even if that simply means backing off certain types of posing or building in more movement, more fun.
Why This Matters (and Why You Actually Might Enjoy It)
At the end of the day, your engagement session shouldn’t feel like a task to check off. It should feel like one of those afternoons you wish you could bottle up. The extra laughter, the celebration of your love, and the in-between moments you’ll want to remember.
Because you only get to be in this season once. And it deserves to be captured with warmth, care, and personality – not with someone asking you to fake a moment you’re not feeling.
Let’s help your partner feel relaxed. Let’s help you feel seen. Let’s tell your story in a way that actually looks like you.
